User talk:184.36.182.187
Welcome Hi, welcome to Monster High Wiki. Thanks for your edit to the Dead Tired page. ' '. It's quick, and an easy way to keep track of your contributions and helps you communicate with the rest of the community. You can also read about our editing standards by visiting the Monster High Wiki editing guidelines page. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- Strawberry Cupcake Kitten (Talk) 16:36, February 26, 2012 Rochelle matter Parrotbeak, it's me the blue hair girl. I know you haven't seen me in awhile, but I need to clear things out. How did you call me a girl hater(really!) after I said I'm not girily. Then you said that I think I'm better than girily girls, some of my best friends are girily girls! I think girily girls are just as good as tomboys. Besides, what kind of girl-hater would actually be on monster high wiki.com? I'm sorry that you misunderstould me. I just wanted to comment my feelings, cause I'm actually really shy, so I don't get to alot(not like anyone will listen.) I didn't mean to start this big arguement with you. I have to admit that you seem pretty cool defending girls like that and I sorda admire you. Later, oh and if you need backup in an argument I'm your ghoul. 184.36.182.187 :I'm glad for another chance at a happier ending for the earlier debate. That said, I am not one to run endless circles around a matter, so I will likely address your concerns directly and bluntly. Don't take is an act of hostility - it's not meant that way. :Lemme first address points of the personal info you've given just now. You say you have girly girls as friends, which serves the underlying argument you can't possibly think less of girly girls if you are friends with them. There is a lot that doesn't work about a statement like that. It is a common tactic of people who make racist or heterosexist remarks to claim they aren't racist or heterosexist because they have friends among members of other races or romantic orientations. First of, this claim is pretty much always one that cannot be checked. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but it shows an unwillingness to take responsibility for one's own actions. Secondly, if it's true, then what is the quality of those friendships? That's something regularly not addressed, and it matters whether the friendship referred to is 'Best Friends Forever' or 'I always make sure to greet them when I happen to walk past them'. And thirdly, not of the before matters, really, as the matter is what you say in a space where people of all kinds of backgrounds and sensitivities can get your message. Whom you are friends with and whether you are what your remarks suggest you to be is not that important - what is important is how your words affect others and how you are or aren't taking responsibilities for that. I have a classmate of Indian descent and he often makes racially-laden jokes with his friends, who are of Caucasian descent. I can't fault them for poking fun at the ugly reality surrounding racism, but I wish they'd stop doing that because it makes me uncomfortable to make light of such a serious problem (one, for the record, that I don't experience, but my mother every so often). The world at large doesn't know you, and the intent behind malicious-sounding wording is therefore rarely clear. It's your responsibility to monitor the effects of your words and react accordingly. :Secondly, you mention you are shy. While I believe that character and related actions aren't always fully in the hands of their owners and that they can qualify as lessening circumstances, I also believe there's a difference between being responsible and being guilty. Being shy and insecure may save you from accusations of malintent, but they do not relieve you of your responsibility towards your own actions and the way they affect others. Fortunately, responsibility is something that lies entirely in your grasp. You choose how you respond to accussations and you choose how you package an ostensible wrong. If I may give you a tip, a sentence like "I'm sorry that you misunderstould me." is not a good way to take responsibility, as you lay the blame with the other. Combined with saying sorry for something you imply not to be in your hands, you also pull the victim card on yourself, which appears a defensive strategy on par with "You're hurting my feelings by saying I'm hurting yours. How can you be this awful!". A better sentence would be "I'm sorry I didn't make myself and my opinions clear". :About the girl-hater/MH enthusias dichotomy; if the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fandom can say FIM did more for feminism that the past two decades of feminism while simultaneously saying girls may not and can not be fans of FIM and not seeing a problem with that, then there's little option left to conclude we live in a universe where people's 'moral' standards don't always match their preferences. There's also severely heterosexist MH enthusiasts despite that several of the most important people responsible for MH are not heterosexual. They don't consider that a conflict because it's a win-win situation for them. So, yeah, you're not the first femmephobic comment-leaving MH enthusiast I've seen, and I'm several years past being surprised by the lack of conflict some folks experience over their opinion database. :Lastly, I invite you to look at these two posts of yours one last time: http://monsterhigh.wikia.com/index.php?title=Rochelle_Goyle&page=3#comm-50531 & http://monsterhigh.wikia.com/index.php?title=Rochelle_Goyle&page=2#comm-53395 . Read it, and ask yourself these questions: What is that men can do that women can't do? Are there things that women can do that men can't do? Why do you consider it a good thing that women do what men do? What do you think of men who do what women do? How many stories can you name in which a woman is lauded for aspiring to be a metaphorical men and how many do you know in which a man is lauded for aspiring to be a metaphorical woman? What does this difference mean to the way humanity views the roles of men and women and the ones who do not adhere to those roles? What is wrong about dressing in certain kinds of clothing? What is wrong with liking certain kinds of colors? What is wrong with wishing to look representable? Who defines what is fun? Who decides what's important? Who gets to say what is 'normal'? :I think that concludes my reply. I thank you for taking the energy to re-evaluate our conflict. I take back my accusstions of you being a girl-hater, but I nonetheless urge you to ask yourself the questions in the previous paragraph. It might help you understand why it is I reacted the way I did. Parrotbeak 12:24, March 23, 2012 (UTC)